Wedding planning requires, in our modest estimate, making about one million decisions in the months leading up to the big day. Ranging from tiny details like the color of ink on your invitations’ return address, to big decisions like venue, to the menu selection, seating chart, music, honeymoon, shoes—the list quickly piles up. A seemingly endless list can open the door to a whole lot of stress, but we are here to tell you that needn’t be the case! By following a few easy tips from the Brooklyn Winery wedding experts, you can effectively eliminate the stress of wedding planning, leaving behind only happy jitters on the day of! We have broken down the art of stress-management into three categories, and by taming each of them individually, you will be doing yourself and your future spouse a great favor.
The teams of vendors that you gather are the behind-the-scenes experts that make everything run smoothly on, and leading up to, your wedding day. As such, our first piece of advice is to rely on the experts and let your vendors do what they do best! Wedding planning is a new experience for you and your future spouse, so you aren’t supposed to know everything there is to know. Vendors have their own well-oiled systems in place, and by trusting them and hiring consummate professionals, you will be avoiding a potential mountain of stress.
If you want DIY elements in your wedding, be realistic about what you can handle, and consider passing off tasks to the wedding planning professionals whenever possible. This means letting a florist arrange the florals, letting the DJ handle the music, and a stationery store take care of your escort cards and place cards. Also consider hiring a professional officiant. Although it might feel more personal to have a friend guide you through your vows, a professional will be sure to pull it off seamlessly, ensuring that the ceremony is romantic, memorable, and goes off without a hitch. You will not regret letting the professionals do their job!
Timing is a crucial element to get right in the wedding planning process. Both in the months before a wedding, and on the day of, knowing what is going to happen and when will help you avoid any unexpected stress. The overarching tip here is: plan in advance! The best way to do this is to break the planning down into manageable sections. Start with the big things before focusing on the details. Book your venue and vendors before you tackle song selections, decor items, and ceremony details. Keep a running list of decision deadlines so you won’t ever be blind-sided or forget about anything. Also keep a running list of final payment due dates, and make sure it’s all saved together in one place. Spreadsheets are a great way to manage all of the moving parts!
Planning the timing of the wedding day itself as specifically as possible is essential. If you have a solid understanding of how everything will come together on your day, you will feel a sense a relief and comfort. Many details will be figured out in coordination with your Event Manager or Wedding Planner, but there are some additionals that you should be sure to include. Couples often forget to plan for downtime throughout the course of the evening. You’ll want some time to collect yourself prior to the ceremony, so schedule 20 minutes to sit down with just a few people (and maybe a glass of bubbly!) and rest your feet. Then after the ceremony, instead of heading directly to cocktail hour, take a few minutes to celebrate privately with your new spouse! As for the rest of the evening, try not to stress about saying hello to every guest. Focus on having fun and being with your new spouse. Everyone is at a great party, so don’t worry if you don’t get to them during dinner.
Having the right attitude and mindset regarding wedding planning will ultimately have the biggest affect on your stress level. There are a few things to be mindful of that will be remarkably helpful. First, cut your parents and your future in-laws some slack. It’s easy for parents to obsess about details, but their actions are out of love. Pick your battles, and know that you will compromise with both sets of parents throughout the process. Having happy parents is a stress relief in and of itself!
Also, do what makes you comfortable. If reading about five million decor ideas fosters your creativity, do it. If planning a wedding makes you feel overwhelmed and insane, do everything you can to feel prepared. If charts make you happy, make them. If not, hire someone who enjoys a good spreadsheet, and will deal with the nitty gritty. Being self aware about what works for you will keep the process moving smoothly, and your stress level low.
Finally, (to employ not one but two clichés), expect the unexpected, and don’t sweat the small stuff! These are mantras for a reason. By expecting the unexpected and embracing the fact that something will inevitably go differently than planned, you can keep calm through potentially choppy waters. Expect that despite the months of perfect planning and doing everything in your power to ensure that this day is flawless, nothing ever is, so enjoy it! It’s what makes your wedding unique, and will make for a good story to boot. By embracing “don’t sweat the small stuff,” you will be able to focus on what’s most important—the fact that you are marrying the love of your life! And love, really, is all that matters. Right?